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officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

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thecarvingwitch:

prokopetz:

sixsaltysweets:

I’M DEAD

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

OH MY GOSH
  • Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
  • Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
  • Guy: Well...yeah.
  • Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

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nerkmid:

i can feel myself getting angrier everyday i’m either becoming an adult or the incredible hulk

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